August 21, 2011

  • Yesterday, while combing through status updates of my friends, I came across one that started something like this “I laugh at those people that are against spanking…..”. It continued on with how they were spanked and turned out fine, how no one is going to become an abuser by spanking etc. Then in the comments this person furthered the status by stating that we are called to discipline our children by God.

    I commented with “Not spanking does not equal not disciplining. Just wanted to clarify as one of the people you are laughing at.” I was deleted.  Oh well.

    I’m not going to go into why I no longer spank in this post,maybe another time.  I want to address the part of the statement that said “I laugh at….” Every time I read that on facebook from those that I know are Christians I want to scream “DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT IS WHAT JESUS WOULD DO?” It just royally ticks me off.

    Jesus never laughed at anyone in the bible. Especially not in the manner of this statement. He never belittled anyone, not even those that disagreed with him. That statement is belittling. It belittles non believers and those that are believers. It makes the assumption that ALL Christians spank and that this statement is only about those outside the “sacred” circle. I think we all know what happens when you assume something.

    Then there is the assumption that if a parent doesn’t spank that there is no discipline in the child’s life. Again with the dangerous assuming.  Discipline does not have to come in the form of hitting a child. It does require you (general you) getting up off your butt and engaging your child. It takes tools other than your hand or some object wielded by your hand. It even takes some understanding of child development and age appropriate behavior. It definitely takes knowing your child and pausing to ask Are they Hungry,Angry, Lonely or Tired?”HALT!  Sometimes you can even add Embarrassed or Depressed..especially as they get older.

    I don’t not spank because I am afraid to discipline my child. I have just chosen to do things differently than you. There will always be extremes on every side. There are parents that don’t spank and their kids have no sense of boundaries. There are parents that do spank and they are currently in jail for killing their child in the name of doing what they say God told them to do.

    Please don’t assume that I spank simply because I am a Christian. I don’t.

    Please don’t assume that I don’t discipline my children because I don’t spank. Those that have met and spent time with my kids can tell you that this is not the case.

    Please stop laughing at other people that choose to do things differently than you do especially if you call yourself a Christian. You cannot begin to know the reasons for their choices and you certainly won’t gain any understanding if you push them away by laughing at them.

Comments (4)

  • I would have to agree with you on pretty much every point you made. The whole line about “I laugh at…..” just right there is enough to send everything else they say out the window. And spanking is really unnecessary. You’re a good mother for recognizing that. You dont need to inflict pain and demonstrate your “authority” to your children through your ability to whap them. Its not good problem solving skills and I dont feel like theres much they can learn from it. Other than that they are inferior. Which is not a message I want to send.

    Nice food for thought today. :)

     

  • Hi I was browsing groups and blogs and came across yours, first off hello! I spank my kids but very rarely, I do not laugh at those who don’t I more wish I could have the patience and understanding they do. I was spanked when I was a child…yes did I  turn out ok, thats the question thats up for debate. I was a horrible pre-teen and teenager in and out of foster homes but I think I am a pretty good adult. When my husband and I talk about disciplining we agreed to only spank when the kids cause danger to themselves or others, ex. my older son who has ADHD hurt his sister he wasn’t medicated at the time we were in the process of trying other remedies like sports and diets and such to try and control his hyperness, well he hit her in the back with a hammer and we spanked him. They normally don’t get spanked so when they do they know what they did was really wrong. But I commend you in standing up for what you believe and if they deleted you oh well. Everyone has  a right to his or her own opinion and beliefs.

  • I agree with you. While we did find spanking effective with one of our kids, we didn’t do it often. The other two weren’t affected by it and time-outs and other things worked for them.
    Crazy that you were deleted for that :(

  • So weird! I just wrote a post about spanking today. I read a post on another blog that bothered me. So I commented and then wrote a post on my blog. I read all the blogs comments and saw Gentle Christian Mothers Community. I WAS so excited to see this site! I found your website from a thread there and voila I”m here reading about your non spanking christian family as well. What a Blessing! No coincidence here. Thanks God! Gentle Christian Mothers is going to be such a blessing to my burdened heart when most gentle mothers I know are not Christians and most Christian mothers I know do not parent gently. Sigh. I’ve felt alone. Good post! Good points!

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