August 21, 2011
Yesterday, while combing through status updates of my friends, I came across one that started something like this “I laugh at those people that are against spanking…..”. It continued on with how they were spanked and turned out fine, how no one is going to become an abuser by spanking etc. Then in the comments this person furthered the status by stating that we are called to discipline our children by God.
I commented with “Not spanking does not equal not disciplining. Just wanted to clarify as one of the people you are laughing at.” I was deleted. Oh well.
I’m not going to go into why I no longer spank in this post,maybe another time. I want to address the part of the statement that said “I laugh at….” Every time I read that on facebook from those that I know are Christians I want to scream “DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT IS WHAT JESUS WOULD DO?” It just royally ticks me off.
Jesus never laughed at anyone in the bible. Especially not in the manner of this statement. He never belittled anyone, not even those that disagreed with him. That statement is belittling. It belittles non believers and those that are believers. It makes the assumption that ALL Christians spank and that this statement is only about those outside the “sacred” circle. I think we all know what happens when you assume something.
Then there is the assumption that if a parent doesn’t spank that there is no discipline in the child’s life. Again with the dangerous assuming. Discipline does not have to come in the form of hitting a child. It does require you (general you) getting up off your butt and engaging your child. It takes tools other than your hand or some object wielded by your hand. It even takes some understanding of child development and age appropriate behavior. It definitely takes knowing your child and pausing to ask “Are they Hungry,Angry, Lonely or Tired?”HALT! Sometimes you can even add Embarrassed or Depressed..especially as they get older.
I don’t not spank because I am afraid to discipline my child. I have just chosen to do things differently than you. There will always be extremes on every side. There are parents that don’t spank and their kids have no sense of boundaries. There are parents that do spank and they are currently in jail for killing their child in the name of doing what they say God told them to do.
Please don’t assume that I spank simply because I am a Christian. I don’t.
Please don’t assume that I don’t discipline my children because I don’t spank. Those that have met and spent time with my kids can tell you that this is not the case.
Please stop laughing at other people that choose to do things differently than you do especially if you call yourself a Christian. You cannot begin to know the reasons for their choices and you certainly won’t gain any understanding if you push them away by laughing at them.